How to Keep Your Medical Issues a "Secret"

It’s been a long year! The holiday season is finally here, and it’s time to unwind, reconnect, and take a break - whatever that looks like for you. But for many of us managing health conditions, whether it’s diabetes, HIV, or any other chronic illness, the holidays can bring their own stressors.

Visiting family and friends should be a time of joy, but the thought of someone noticing your medication, hearing your alarm go off at specific times, or catching you in the act of “popping a pill” can be stressful when you are not ready to share. It’s easy to think, “Why not just disclose my medical condition and get it over with?” While disclosure can lead to support and understanding, it isn’t always the best or easiest option.

Is Disclosure an Option?

Deciding to disclose your condition requires careful thought. Consider your environment and the dynamics of the relationships you’re navigating. Your fears might be valid or not. They could also stem from your own perceptions and fears. Before deciding to share, I suggest you test the waters.

Try this: casually introduce a general question about your condition. For example, “What do you think about the support available for people with diabetes or HIV these days?” Observe how they respond. If the response is supportive or open, they may be more understanding than you expected. If it’s negative or uninformed, it might simply reflect a lack of education or awareness.

If you feel that disclosure will not be in your best interest, don’t worry.

There’s a Plan B.

1. Plan Your Stay Thoughtfully

Start by deciding how long you’ll be staying. Pack only the medication you need, plus an extra day or two’s supply in case plans change. Use a discreet pillbox (not labelled) and keep it in a place where no one is likely to snoop, like the bottom of your bag or in the glove compartment of your car, if you’re driving.

2. Adjust Your Medication Timing

If your routine allows, consider shifting your medication schedule to a quieter time of day. For example, instead of taking it during busy breakfast hours, move it to an hour or two earlier or later. Small adjustments won’t usually affect adherence but can provide much-needed privacy. Check with your healthcare provider.

3. Use a Cover Story

If you’re worried someone might notice, prepare a simple, believable explanation. For example, say you’re on antibiotics or taking vitamins to boost your immune system. Many medications, including ARVs, resemble common pills, so hiding them in plain sight might be easier than you think. Just ensure your story aligns with your visible habits and environment.

4. Stay Confident and Prepared

Remember, it’s okay to prioritise your comfort and boundaries. If someone questions you, respond confidently without overexplaining. Most people will respect a simple answer if you give it without hesitation.

Embrace the Journey

Navigating the holidays with a chronic condition or secret can be tricky, but it’s not impossible. You’re allowed to take steps to protect your health and your peace of mind. And while this may not be the ideal long-term solution, it’s a practical way to handle the situation for now.

As you reflect on this season, remember that there’s a whole community out there — people like me — who understand what you’re going through. Next year, consider joining one of the gatherings I host, where we create spaces for mutual support and understanding. Until then, take it one day at a time. Protect your health. Protect your boundaries. And most importantly, protect your joy this holiday season.

About the Author:

PR is an advocate for living beyond chronic illnesses, a speaker, and the founder of The Diary of PR. Follow his journey as he shares practical advice, personal stories, and inspiration for thriving despite life’s challenges.