Married to a Chef! It can be frustrating.

“So, who cooks between the two of you?”

I get this question a lot from people curious about our domestic kitchen affairs. Often, it’s phrased like, “Since you are a trained cook, it must be interesting for your wife to cook for you.” Honestly, I never thought much about her cooking until a breakfast incident that left me unimpressed.

Before I tell you what happened, let me share a bit about myself. I love good food. Good food lifts my mood. The fresher, the better. I don’t mind cooking every day, three times a day. I think about what I’m going to have for lunch while I’m having breakfast. I easily take over other people’s cooking if they don’t stop me. When I’m out at a restaurant, I expect the best quality of food and service available, and I don’t mind sending food back more than once if I’m not happy. That’s probably why I prefer to cook for myself, and my kids don’t like going out with me.

Now, about the breakfast incident. Let’s just say that it gets tricky at home when you don’t like something. I certainly didn’t like the overcooked omelet (it was brown). Unfortunately, I couldn’t just send it back, though! I didn’t want to sleep on the couch.

When we started dating, one of my wife’s first requests was that I create space for her in the kitchen. I did. These days, I try to stay away when it’s her turn. I guess I realized that my expectations can be frustrating for her. Come to think of it, she’s not a bad cook. She knows her way around the kitchen.

I suspect it was just one of those mornings with the omelet situation. So, there was no need for me to frown hides. I could tell she was already conscious of my presence during the whole cook.

But let me not speak for her. She’s here.

Hello again.

Let me just say, even the best cooks have their bad days in the kitchen. For my dear husband, that day was the first time he cooked for me. He must have been nervous, poor thing. He overcooked the steak, lol. From that day, I knew I could mess up in the kitchen and not get judged. Truth is, it ain’t easy! It’s not easy living with someone who wants gourmet meals every day. I mean, even breakfast needs to look and taste good. There are no peanut butter and toast sandwiches.

Side note: I feel we spend way too much money on food hides. The gourmet meals often require special ingredients, and those cost a lot. The good part is that I also love good food, and I believe I know how to put together a tasty meal. But I’ve quickly learned that he’s definitely not easy to impress.

I’m used to cooking for a very appreciative crowd at home. With my husband, it’s a different story. Compliments do not come easily. You hardly know when you’ve totally missed it or hit the spot. I once cooked oxtail for him, even using his unnecessarily heavy red pot (yep, he’s serious about his cookware). I thought he’d notice the final product. I made sure it was falling off the bone, just the way he likes it. I dished up and looked at his face as I handed him the food, hoping for an “ooh, this looks nice” or something.

Bathong! The man just played dead. He just ate, finishing without a single comment about it.

My new strategy with him is simple: I now cook to feed the man, not to impress him. I stick to “safe” recipes—grilled, air-fried meals that I can’t get wrong. I also like that he normally leads the “what’s for dinner” conversation. It takes that responsibility off me. Besides, he’s the one with specific meal desires; he knows exactly what he wants, while I’m usually indifferent. I also take comfort in knowing I’m not a terrible cook because he hasn’t banned me from the stove, and he normally cleans his plate smiles.

I’m back.

Err, about the no comment on the oxtail meal...! I must have been hungry hides. I love her cooking. And in case you’re wondering about what happened to the omelet, I ate it. It is called partnership.

#lifebeyond #diaryofpr #pholoramothwala